Encouraging Cooperation At Bedtime

Bedtime is tricky for everyone. It's important to recognize that the biggest factor in a calm bedtime is routine. Let's say it together... R-O-U-T-I-N-E! This means that you have to decide what routine you'd like and then you have to stick to it- even on weekends or when other things are wonky at your house. If the bedtime routine starts at 8:00 with a bath, than without fail you have to get to the tub at 8:00! This is just one more opportunity to take the time to consciously set limits at your house. Children can follow a rule, or a routine in this case, if they know what it is.

So, if you're tired of hearing: "Just one more story... pleeeease" or "I'm dying of thirst I need a glass of water!" or "I have to go potty!" I promise that there's hope. Here are some practical suggestions for instituting some changes to your nighttime routine.

Begin your new routine by setting a consistent bedtime time. Children should consistently go to bed at the same time every night. As I said earlier, this means even on the weekends! Be sure to never vary bedtime by more than one hour a night or a total of two hours for the entire weekend.

Next, set a consistent bedtime routine. Create a consistent bedtime ritual —in a predictable calming environment that serves as a bridge between the excitement of daytime and the restful quiet of nighttime. A bath, low lights, a few quiet stories, a bit of snuggle time and then a good night song can go a long way in preparing your child's brain for sleep.

Then, be sure to share this information with your child. A concrete way to do this is to create a bedtime routine chart like this one, that I found on the Positive Discipline website:



Simply take some pictures of your child while they get ready for bed one evening and then put them together for the chart. The chart is a great way to help you in practicing your new encouraging cooperation skills! You can describe the bedtime routine, you can give information by pointing at one of the photos on chart. You can say it with a word, "Teeth!" You can talk about your feelings, "It's a pleasure to know that we can both look at the bedtime chart and know what to do next." And the chart is a note that you only have to write once, but that you can read together everyday.

If this still doesn't work, it may be time to do some additional reading. I suggest starting with, "The No Cry Sleep Solution" and "The Floppy Sleep Game Book" for you and "The Floppy Sleep Game" music CD for your child, which teaches children some relaxation techniques.

Change is hard. We generally only commit to it when not changing is even harder. I can promise you that if you commit to this change, and really stick with it, your house will be a place of peace in the evenings in a few short weeks. And there is no better way to improve your parenting skills than to be the beneficiary of a good night's sleep.