There is no magic single answer for what to do in any parenting situation,there are only things to try,
and try again,
and again.
So, how do we choose which things to try?
Guide posts. Obviously not those funny blue things over there, but the internal guideposts you create for yourself as a parent. I've found having my own set of them exceptionally helpful as I try to figure out just where is it that I'm going.
The first guidepost I rely on is this: What can I do, right now, to help my child become the best adult version of himself he can be? This guides my on the spot thinking for picking my tone and words on the fly.
The second guidepost I rely on is this: What is my underlying philosophy of parenting... ? This is that important decision I make that says, "This is the kind of parent I want to be, this is how I want my child to think of me, when he remembers what it was like to grow up in my house."
The tip sheets that I've shared with you--the first about acknowledging feelings and the second about encouraging cooperation-- have some new strategies to use in your interactions with your child. Decide if they support the development of the attributes you hope your child will have as an adult and your underlying philosophy of parenting. If they do, it can make trying them out just a little easier. A little awkwardness now, a little discomfort, will seem worth it, if you can focus on the adult they will become and the parent you want to be.
So take the time to make yourself some guideposts... they'll get you where you'd like to go.
